10 Reasons TRUE BLOOD: Season 5 is Goofy, Boring, and Needs Repair

True Blood Season 5 is the worst season of the HBO TV show series so far. How did this happen to a show that was once top-tier horror and storytelling? This season is lackluster, the storylines do not seem to be going anywhere, some of them are boring, and the series is in desperate need of repair. I bailed on this season after episode three (Whatever I Am, You Made Me), I couldn’t even finish watching it.

 The 10 reasons why True Blood: Season 5 is goofy, boring, and needs repair:

1. True Blood follows Game of Thrones.

Realism and everybody taking themselves seriously versus lameness, puns, and slapstick. All the flaws of True Blood are spotlighted and exacerbated because HBO subscribers now come down off of the action, drama, violence, nudity, and sex from Game of Thrones. The tone shift between both TV shows is jarring. Game of Thrones never lampoons itself or its genre. Game of Thrones is serious and takes itself seriously. True Blood can not claim that anymore. No one is safe in Game of Thrones (proven by Ned Stark decapitation in Season 1). The same is not true of True Blood. Nothing will ever happen to Sookie Stackhouse, no matter what situation she gets into.

2. Too many jokes.

The stake through the heart iPhone app the vampire Authority uses, Jesus Christ. That was the nail in the coffin when that piece of tech was introduced. I like pop culture references (Warehouse 13 is good at them) as much as anyone but it was like the writers stopped taking the show seriously. If they do not take the show seriously, why should fans?

3. True Blood is not scary anymore. Its goofy.

Nothing on this show is remotely as horror-inspired as it was in the first three seasons of the show. Everything is more tongue-in-cheek.

3. Jason Stackhouse’s storyline is going nowhere.

At the end of season 3, and beginning of season 4, it seemed like Jason was evolving into something more than a ladies man. That has all ended. He is now just floating on the show, aimlessly.

4. Sookie Stackhouse’s storyline is going nowhere.

Sookie has been reduced to responding to the new crisis that presents itself to her. She is no longer evolving because of them.

5. Everyone has powers.

There are very few ordinary people on True Blood anymore. Because of this fact and their powers, most are not in danger of dying when in perilous situations. Because of this fact, tension and suspense on the show have been almost completely marginalized. When everyone has Wolverine’s healing factor (e.g. vampire blood, magic, etc.), mortal wounds are no longer mortal.

6. Tara Thornton should have been killed off at the beginning of the season.

Instead Tara was turned into what she hates most in the world. Viewers of True Blood have already seen the storyline of a new born vampire through Jessica Hamby. What does Tara’s new born storyline offer the show that Jessica’s did not? The answer: very little, if anything. The writers of True Blood are in love with their creation, with their Tara, and couldn’t let her go. I read an screenplay book once that said something to the effect of: “Never fall in love with your characters because you will never want anything bad to happen to them.” That is exactly what happened on True Blood with Tara.

7. Aimless, meaningless sex between characters thrown into scenes.

Instantly forgotten coitus is now rampant on the show, used as mortar to kill time between scenes.

8. The Authority storyline is weak.

The Lilith blood drinking ceremony was a waste of screen time in the second episode (Authority Always Wins). It went on for far too long, way past its usefulness. These vampires say they are The Authority but they do not show it, not like Russell Edgington did.

10. The main streaming and integration of vampires into human society storyline is only a footnote in the show now.

Why? That intregration and society’s response should be at the forefront of the show, e.g. fear of the unknown, as it was at the beginning of the show. Example: How about vampire history teachers? Since they were actually at the events, it would be interesting to hear they recollections, like Bill Compton once gave at a town hall meeting. Seeing their struggle to get into the teaching system would be an interesting storyline that will never happen. The show seems content with the drama between old and new characters now.

Have you stuck with this season of True Blood? Do you believe any or all of my points are valid?

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