Movie Review

Film Review: CRAZY BITCHES (2014): A Movie That Isn’t Bitch’in

Crazy Bitches Movie Poster

Crazy Bitches (2014) Film Review, a movie directed by Jane Clark, and starring Samantha Colburn, Cathy DeBuono, Andy Gala, Liz McGeever, Victoria Profeta, Guinevere Turner, Nayo Wallace, and Mary Jane Wells.

OK, so you start with a tried and true premise – a woman’s weekend retreat. Seven friends from college: the brainy one, the new age intuitive, the wanna be famous actor, the women of colour with an illness, the lesbian, the wife with the cheating husband, and finally the prim and proper one. Oops sorry, on this woman’s retreat, there is one guy – the gay guy. So eight friends on a weekend get-away. With a diverse set of characters like these, there’s gotta be a little something for everyone. Right?

Just like you’d expect of any group of friends coming together, there are hugs and kisses all around, fun memories re-told, small jabs at one another and yup, rivalries are soon re-kindled. At this point, you’re wondering which way the film will go? I was expecting a little humour or even camp. And, you keep waiting. The only really humorous/campy bit is the gay guy’s name – BJ. That said, there are some well-placed slaps on the face and an attempt at some silly dialogue, but that’s half way into the movie – a bit too late.

Our friends soon figure out that years ago a series of murders took place on the ranch where the get-away takes place. They also realize that some of their friends are going missing and eventually showing up dead. OK, so this is where you think the film goes into high gear and the horror kicks in. You get ready for the scary. It doesn’t come. How about the gore? Nope. Suspense? No. So here’s the Spoiler Alert: There is no need to cover your eyes, and you won’t fall off the edge of your seat. You won’t even laugh – hmm OK maybe a chuckle or two.

When you read in the press that director Jane Clark doesn’t like horror films but wanted to have a reason to re-unite the cast from one of her earlier films Meth Head, you understand why the film misses the mark. It certainly doesn’t draw on old classics like: The Omen (1976), The Shining (1980) or something more recent like: Silence of the Lambs (1991), or The Blair Witch Project (1999). The film doesn’t even take us in the direction of the slasher/humour/horror Scream franchise.

Crazy Bitches meanders on its own, and that can be a good thing. That’s what we look for writers and directors to do, to take us on new journeys, shed new light on a topic or subject matter. Bend a genre. Whatever it is – that’s what we look for. In this case, Crazy Bitches wonders off-course and doesn’t strike out in any new and interesting direction. IMDb lists the film as Comedy/Horror. Crazy Bitches has a bit of comedy and a bit of horror – but of the extremely mild and bland variety. At the end of the day, Crazy Bitches has an interesting set of characters who don’t really speak to anyone in the comedic or horror genres.

Rating: 3/10

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About the author

Thomas Jenkins

For Thomas, a perfect day is getting up at the crack of dawn, going for a long run and then spending the rest of the day watching films or reading about film.

Thomas holds an M.A in Independent Film from Staffordshire University.

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