MTV‘s Teen Wolf Weaponized TV Show Review. Teen Wolf: Season 4, Episode 7: Weaponized definitely fell right after the mid-arc of the show, and we should be much closer to finding out answers. In this episode, we draw nearer to the Benefactor and learn more from the mysterious cassette tape.
The opening scene focuses on a character we’ve never met (like many times in Teen Wolf, or any formulaic “crime show”). This man is doing something sciencey, and we see a werewolf fall over in the plastic background: a mystery to be solved later, of course.
Our main man Scott looks like he really wants that money under his bed, but tells Stiles they should return it. Stiles, however, doesn’t seem so keen on giving back that money to resident murderer Crazy Uncle Peter—who could blame Stiles? But Scott doesn’t seem to get it, is he playing dumb here? At least the cassette tape tells us more.
We have a lot of broken up, quick scenes that follow: Derek walking into the hospital dramatically, with Braeden in his arms. Next is Satomi, from season 3b, greeting our favorite vet, Dr. Deaton, in a very odd way—especially as she seems to want his help. But we get some cool fighting.
PSAT time—Malia freaks out, and Kira, bright shining flower, says they can survive the three hour test. We then seen the test administrator is none other than Mysterious Guy in Lab Coat from the opening. Well, Kira, you shouldn’t have said anything, remember, it’s Beacon Hills.
Nothing much happens until Sydney, a student who desperately needs scholarship money to attend college (everyone in Beacon Hills is now super poor), falls out of her chair and resident biology instructor Mrs. Martin (RIP Mr. Harris) discovers lesions on the student’s wrist and on Coach’s back. Gross. At least he’s still sober. We love you Coach! Thankfully, Mama Martin won’t be disappointed anymore. She knows you’re sick! Leaving in the middle of an exam, Scott? Alarmed, Mama Martin calls the CDC.
I sure hope that test was cancelled! Plastic quarantine areas, very reminiscent of the opening laboratory scene, are put up. Too calm, Mr. Creepy Test Admin wildly monologues about two diseases have been eradicated: smallpox and rinderpest. Clues to the mystery. Satomi describes the horrifying symptoms, Dr. Deaton can’t identify, so he suggests Mama McCall as healer. Melissa doesn’t screw around when lives are at stake, so she wakes Braeden. We discover an assassin infected the pack! Scott is in the bathroom shifting—he’s been infected!
Curiously, we have a scene with Lydia at the lake house, with a box of Meredith’s belongings. Lydia cares about her friends. This scene is nice, with Lydia apologizing to Meredith, though she seems terrified of becoming “crazy.” We have a photograph that matches the lake house quiet room, Meredith standing there. This clue should prove something later about Lydia’s and Meredith’s past, but it doesn’t seem to fit the rest of the episode.
Agent McCall swoops in to ask about Scott. The CDC is fed up with Beacon Hills parents being in law enforcement at this point. Scott decides they need to be quarantined from the quarantine—come on Scott, you’re dying, you’re not going to hurt anyone. Move to the vault, and why would it have an entrance in the school, especially if it was built before the school …? Malia, being the only Hale, has to open the vault. Quick thinking Tricky Scott McCall: too sick to pull out your claws! Later, Stiles talks about money, and Scott chimes in with his monetary woes—hmm, laying it on thick?
Gross dead werewolf’s skull flap—with brain visible, Dr. Deaton comes to the conclusion of Weaponized Canine Distemper—how’d you miss that Dr. D? (Not related to smallpox at all, but related to rinderpest, thanks Wikipedia)! Satomi talks about Derek’s dead mother, and Derek remembers smelly tea. Which happens to be the antidote for the disease. Which happens to be in the vault. Where Scott and co. happen to be. Coincidence?
Meanwhile, Stiles has left the vault in search of his cell phone and clues—only adult to get sick: Coach. He discovers the diseased ink pad (ew) prompting Creepy Test Admin, gun in hand, to deliver the best lines this episode: “No, I think I can kill you. I thought the countdown would be more exciting.” And then BANG Agent McCall shoots him, splattering Stiles with blood (but not killing Stiles, whew, TV magic!).
Awesome Satomi shows awesome Matrix moves after Derek jumps in front of her because he’s cool like that. Stiles returns to the vault (locked because they might go crazy and kill people, right?). Thankfully, Kira saw the mushrooms and knew. Using alpha powers, barely, Scott breaks open the jar and they are all cured. Whew. Everyone is alright, and again, money is brought up by Mrs. Martin: “Just trying to get a little overtime.”
Then Malia reads her name on the deadpool: Malia Hale. Uh-oh. Obviously angry and confused, she blames Stiles. Where will it go from here? Recalling the conversation between Scott and Stiles earlier, it can’t go anywhere good. Thank you Crazy Uncle Peter.
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