7 Reasons Why Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Sucked

1.) Poor dialog.

Hands down the worst dialog out of all four Indiana Jones movies. Instead of existing to propel the plot of this film, a large portion of the dialog was used to fill in the gaps between the four films. In a perilous situation, while surrounding by the enemy in an encampment, Indy and company start having a family reunion right in the middle of them like “the bad guys” are not even there. This usually would be interesting, adding levity to a tense situation and the film itself. In Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull it is badly scripted and boring.

2.) Disappearing plot points.

Irina Spalko tries to read Indy’s mind at the beginning of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull then never attempts it again. It’s not even mentioned. Why? Her character would have been far more interesting if she had some sort of extra-sensor ability and used it throughout the film to her advantage. Also, what happened to what the Russians initially stole from Hanger 51?

3.) Over-the-top action.

The nuclear explosion. Oh please. Just because a refrigerator is lined with lead doesn’t mean the rubber sealing the door to the rest of the appliance is also. What about the intense heat of the nuclear explosion? The eradiated outside of the refrigerator?

4.) Dubious special effects quality.

Stephen Chow must be having a chuckle that Industrial Light and Magic used special effects of the quality found in his films.

5.) Indiana Jones’ overt willingness to help Irina Spalko.

Indy seemed happy to be helping the three time recipient of The Order of Lenin with locating El Dorado on maps and in discussions. Why? Why not mislead her?

6.) The Tarzan/Monkey Moment.

When this occurred in the third act, any smidgen of remaining reality in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull vanished, never to be found again. I literally could not believe what I was seeing. I couldn’t believe that they included something so infinitely cheesy in a film this long in development.

7.) The X-Files ending.

Give me a frelling break with the ending to Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I’ve seen it before in The X-Files’ movie where it was vastly more appropriate, more exciting, and better filmed.

I want my money back.

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About the author

Rollo Tomasi

A Political Science and MBA grad who started FilmBook during an eCommerce B-School course in 2008. Cinema and TV addict. Former writer at Empire Movies, Blogcritics, and Alternative Film Guide. In addition to writing for FilmBook, he also edits the copy published on the website, manages its writing staff, manages the back-end operations, site finances, its social network accounts, and works with publicists, actors, and companies on press coverage and promotions. He has also created ProMovieBlogger.com and Trending Awards.com.

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