Spiderman 4 is Dunzo, All Hail the 2012 Reboot

The Spiderman franchise as we knew it is over. Goodbye. Goodbye Sam Raimi. Goodbye Tobey Maguire. Goodbye Kristen Dunst. I was sick and tried of all the bs surrounding Spiderman 4 (2011), especially about who the villain would be. Did we really want to see a CGI man with wings flying around through the air, getting into physic and law of gravity  defying fist-o-cuffs with Spidey? I didn’t. What I wanted was for Venom to have his own movie as the villain, not the third-act nonsense from Spiderman 3. He should have been the villain of Spiderman 4 but of course there was that kaboom moment at the end of Spiderman 3 to overcome.

Laconic excerpts from my Spiderman 3 Movie Review:

Speaking of squandered storylines, after Parker “takes off” his new costume (the symbiote) and Brock and the symbiote are joined, why does Brock believe he needs someone else to fight Spiderman with him? He has not even faced him alone yet (another reason why Venom should have had his own movie). How does he know he can not take Parker by himself? Plus, its already two against one: Brock and the symbiote. Aren’t they supposed to be a team, feeding off of one another? Oh, wait, wait, that’s just in the comic book, which is why Brock, after his joining in Spiderman 3, does not eventually refer to himself as “we” instead of “I.” Character details like that would have really bogged down this film’s special effects finale, are truly not important and would not have added to the Topher’s Venom at all. Neither would the fact that the symbiote, because of his prolonged joining with Parker, knows all of his secretes and tells them to Brock in the comic book. That wouldn’t have made Venom a more interesting villain either. Venom in Spiderman 3 is not scary or intimating in the slightest (very strange considering Sam Raimi’s pedigree

I mean, the screenwriters could have just had Venom show up at Parker’s apartment door as Brock, have Brock lull Parker with a made-up story for why he’s there (one of Brock’s core competencies) and then have Brock try to kill Parker once he was in his apartment alone with him. He could have used his elongated teeth and claws on him, spraying Parker blood all over the walls and ceiling. What if that helpful neighbor girl heard the commotion and walked in on it. Uh-oh, no more neighbor girl. But alas, Spiderman 3 is PG-13 so no claw attacks, tearing and no teeth bites.

This is what the powers-that-be had to say about the cancellation of Spiderman 4 and the ousting of the original cast and crew:

We have had a once-in-a-lifetime collaboration and friendship with Sam and Tobey and they have given us their best for the better part of the last decade. This is a bittersweet moment for us because while it is hard to imagine Spider-Man in anyone else’s hands, I know that this was a day that was inevitable,” said Matt Tolmach, president of Columbia Pictures, who has served as the studio’s chief production executive since the beginning of the franchise. “Now everything begins anew, and that’s got us all tremendously excited about what comes next. Under the continuing supervision of Avi and Laura, we have a clear vision for the future of Spider-Man and can’t wait to share this exciting new direction with audiences in 2012.

Peter Parker is going back to high school when the next Spider-Man hits theaters in the summer of 2012. Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios announced today they are moving forward with a film based on a script by James Vanderbilt that focuses on a teenager grappling with both contemporary human problems and amazing super-human crises.